Lupin's Old Diary
by werty12
Summary: A story on how Teddy Lupin found out about his father being a werewolf, his former life at Hogwarts, and so much more...


_Lupin's Old Diary_

_By: IfWeLivedaLittleEveryDay_

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_**Author's Note:**__ This is written __in response to __**ephemereis**__' 'I Hate You' competition. As always, thank you for reading :)_

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I'm your normal teenager, honestly. I'm not any kind of 'freak' like some claim that I am. Sure, both my parents died when I was a baby at the battle of Hogwarts, leaving me an orphan to be raised by my grandmother. And I am also a metamorphmagus, which is very rare (I'm the only one at Hogwarts). Huh, I guess I _am _a freak.

Whatever, it doesn't concern me.

There had been something concerning me lately, however. It's the summer before my last year at Hogwarts and I think I'm old enough now to know more about my birth parents. Whenever I talk to my grandmother (I call her mom) she always says how I'm not 'old enough'. She won't even tell me about Grandpa Ted, whom I'm named after. Well, I'm looking for answers now, and will take nothing but.

I had just woken up from a dream about my parents, which I guess is what inspired me to find out more about them. It was an odd dream, I couldn't really place it. I was a baby, and mom and dad were talking to me saying how cute I was, how they love me, etc., normal parent stuff. I dream about them frequently, but this was different. I felt like it had actually happened, like it was a memory. In the other dreams it was just about mom and dad coming back to life, talking to me. This dream just seemed so real. I dunno, I just couldn't shake it.

I yawned and stretched my arms, making my way to the kitchen. I found a note on the counter in my mom's nice handwriting.

_Gone to the store-Mom._

Like she had to address it, we were the only two living here. I guess my questions would have to be saved until later.

We live in Muggle London, which most of my non-muggle born friends find weird. Oh, add that to the list of reasons of why I'm a freak.

I actually kind of like it, though, living here. We have muggle friends, so we can't have any wizarding stuff in the house, at least in plain sight. It kind of sucks not being able to apparate, though.

I decided I needed a walk, some fresh would do well to take off the grogginess of sleep. I remembered hearing something on TV about it raining today, so I went to get an umbrella from the hall closet. I grabbed it and was just about to leave, when something on the floor of the closet caught my eye. I picked it up; it was a small, leather book, worn with age. The pages from the side were yellowed, it had a thick coat of dust on it.

Mom says I'm too curious, I guess that's why I'm a Gryffindor. Brave and curious. The book could be cursed for all I knew, but of course I opened it anyways. Why would anything in my muggle house be cursed anyways?

The first page had nothing on it, except for small print down at the bottom left of the page that read in black ink 'Remus Lupin'. I gasped. Loudly. This book was my father's. I traced my fingertips across the small print. Some day, at some time, my father had written that. I eagerly turned the page.

'_My name is Remus Lupin. I'm in my fifth year of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. My best friends are James 'Prongs', Sirius 'Padfoot', and Peter 'Wormtail. And I am Moony. They are the best friends anyone could ever have. I guess I'm the most serious out of the bunch; I usually try and keep everyone out of trouble. Knowing James, however, that never happens. We have the Marauder's map, a good thing to help us sneak around, and for my friends to come help be during my 'ahem' monthly changes'_

That was only the first page. I had never, ever felt that great in my entire life. Something from my dad and his past life, his past encounters….and this large book filled with so many things that Mom would never tell me. I had only heard about James, Sirius, and Peter briefly from Uncle Harry. I think that for some reason my mom didn't want me to know everything. And what he meant by 'monthly changes' I had no idea. I read on.

'_You see, all of my friends are Animagi, unregistered of course. Not that anyone I wouldn't want to would read that, I charmed theses pages to be only visible to whom I choose, the people I know I can trust. So congratulations, I can trust you._

_Anyways, my friends sneak out once a month (sometimes more, but for different reasons) and go to the Whomping Willow. There is a secret passage there that leads to the Shrieking Shack, the place I go monthly. Normally, my kind aren't allowed at places like schools, but Dumbledore is an amazing man. You see, once a month he allows me to go the Shrieking Shack so I don't hurt anyone, but otherwise lets me go to school like a normal person. _

_All right, I am tired of speaking in code; I'll come out and say it. I am a werewolf._

_Being a werewolf is a horrible, horrible thing to be. I'm a monster. Once my friends found out, I thought they'd shun me, never talk to me again. They did the opposite. James animagus is a stag and Sirius a large, black dog. They stay with me throughout my transformation in the Shrieking Shack, they control me. They are the best friends I have ever-'_

"Teddy, I'm home!" Mom called. I was caught between anger and utter shock. My dad is a werewolf…she had kept so much from me. All I ever knew was that Mom was and Auror and a metamorphmagus, like me. I knew my dad taught Defense Against the Dark Arts and they were both in the Order of the Phoenix. That was all I knew.

I stormed into the kitchen. "Mom, what is this?" I asked angrily, holding up the book.

He face was frozen solid. She was stiff.

"All that you've hidden from me…my Dad was a werewolf? Why didn't you tell me any of this. You've lied to me, you told me he was just a wizard and a professor! You never tell me _anything_! It's always just 'I'll tell you when you're older'. I'm tired of that! All I've heard are bits from Uncle Harry and now this book, why don't you tell me anything?" I asked. I was livid.

She was very pale in the face, she looked guilt ridden "Teddy I-I was waiting for the right time to tell you-."

"You ALWAYS say that! Dad was a bloody _werewolf _and I didn't know. I think I have the right to know about my own parents..you're not my mom, you never will be. I can't believe you kept this from me! I hate you!" I spat, turning on my heels to my room.

"Teddy, please!" she cried helplessly. I didn't turn to look at her, just went in my room and shut the door. The second the words had left my mouth I regretted them. Perhaps I took it too far, but I was just so angry. All I ever wanted was to know about my real parents. I sighed and plopped on my bed.

I surfed through the pages, liking the old book smell that was wafting up to my nose, it was almost calming. I stopped when I noticed a piece of folded parchment nestled between two pages near the middle. Curiously, I took it and unfolded it. It was a letter. To me. My heart started beating incredibly fast.

'_Dear Teddy,_

_So you've either A) Received this book or B) Found it. For some reason, I'm assuming it's the latter. You're just a small baby, but I feel like I already know you so well. Curious, but brave. Smart and daring. I have a strong idea that you'll be a Gryffindor just like your old man, though don't tell Mom that, she still wants you to be a Hufflepuff. You're right besides me now, actually laughing so very hard as your mother is changing noses repeatedly, you'll be able to do that soon, too, once you're able to control it._

_I guess you're wondering why I'm writing this. The war is very bad now. There are many things happening, people are dying. I can only hope the world you're living in now is good one, because if you are reading this it means I'm dead. I fear that I may be one to die during the war, and I want something for you, my only child, to hear from me, from my perspective._

_First off, I know that you're probably angry with someone. Be it your grandmother, Andromeda, or your mother that is raising you. You're probably upset that they hid things about me from you. Well, be mad at me for this, because it was at my request that they keep most of my life a secret until you were eighteen, the age I feel you can fully understand. _

_Yes, I am a werewolf. It was the biggest relief of mine that you aren't. I am not going to lie to you, Teddy, I was upset when I found out your mother was pregnant. I did not want her to give birth to someone like me, for you to miserable as I often was as a boy. Instead, you were blessed with the gift of being a metamorphmagus, like your mother._

_You're not very good at it though, your hair just turns wild colors at random times, often showing your mood. It's quite handy actually. Your hair turns blue when you're tired, red when you're angry, and purple when you're hungry. So now we always know why you're crying, it makes our job easier. _

_I'm getting off topic. My point of this whole letter is to tell you how much I love you, and how lucky your mother and I are to have you. Since you're reading this, it means that I (and maybe your mother) am dead. I want you to not miss us, that I (or we) died for a good cause, to make your life a happy one. I know we will win this war. Good dominates over evil. I know Mr. Potter will win, he is the spitting image of his father, inside and out. He will not fail. However, it will not come without sacrifice._

_Please be a good boy, be well behaved for either your grandmother or your mom, they mean well, I swear. And don't _ever, _and I repeat, _ever_ do things like I did in this book. You are the greatest thing to ever happen to me, the greatest gift I ever received. I love you more than life itself. Do well in school; I already know you'll be great. I'm so proud of you. I love you._

_-Dad'_

I couldn't remember the last time I cried, I rarely ever did. I certainly don't ever remember crying this hard in my entire life.

My mom was hunched over the kitchen counter, talking into a phone. I could hear the tears in her voice.

"Mom." I said.

"I've got to go, Harry," she said into the phone and hung up. She looked at me, just as surprised on the tears on my face as I was.

"Mom, I'm so sorry," I said as I wrapped her in a hug.

I never forgot that day, or that letter. I read it almost daily, it means more than the world to me. It's like having a little piece of my dad, like he wasn't just some kind of dream. Mom went on to tell me everything: about my mom, Grandpa Ted, and the whole wizarding war. I felt like it almost changed me as a person, to know everything. I'm more grateful now to know what my parents died for. They died so my generation can live, to rid the evil. I am here today, thanks to everyone who fought. I can go to school, learn magic, even though I'm not pureblooded. My future is bright; I can only go up from here. And for that, I will be eternally grateful.

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End file.
